Tuesday, April 22, 2014

This is China


Although the list could go on and on, here are just a few of the biggest/startling/favorite things I have learned about the people of China. Warning: this is strictly my observation and opinion, I am in no way trying to be prejudice against the Chinese people.

1-You know how when we were young our mothers taught us not to chew with our mouth open or not to slurp our soup? In China, throw those rules out of the window. Everyone chomps, slurps, and chomps some more here. In fact, if you don't it's almost rude.

2-If you want water here, expect it to be hot. It doesn't matter where you are, what you are eating, or what season it is. Water is served hot here and nothing else unless asked.

3-Traffic rules? What are those again? Here, if there is a red light and you don't want to wait at it, don't. There are pedestrians coming? Drive around them. Right turns mean you always turn right no matter who is in the way. Crosswalk is red? That doesn't mean anything! As long as you lay on your horn wherever you go, you just go. And somehow, it kind of actually works. But yet again I see things like this almost on a daily basis:
4-Man, you've got that nasty flem all stuck in your throat and your nose? It just wants to come out doesn't it? So why not just cough and hauk and spit that loogie right out next to someone's feet. It's totally cool to do it here. It doesn't still gross me out at all.....ever...

5-There is no such thing as clean air here. You either have polluted air, or cigarette smoke in your face. Generally, both is happening. My lungs really love me here. 

6-There are many...smells...here in China. I feel that I have gotten used to most of them. But there is one smell that I will never nor do I ever want to get used to. And that is stinky tofu. It's name is actually stinky tofu. Apparently the stinkier it is, the better it is. 
7-There are a TON of people here in China. So the concept of "every man for himself" is something to kind of live by here. If you want to get on a metro, bus, or any type of line for that matter, prepare to throw elbows up and push your way through crowds even if  you think they are too tight and no one else can fit. There is no such thing as personal space when it comes to these situations. There have been countless times where I find these interactions both insanely frustrating and hilarious. 
8-Fireworks are a daily occurrence here. Especially late at night or early in the morning. To put it best, let me quote my friend Chelsea: "Have you ever wondered what World War II sounds like? Just move to China." Haha she was spot on. 

9-Old people here are the best! Especially the old ladies! Every evening groups of them get together and do aerobics together; not in a class, but out on the streets. Sometimes they dance inside malls, on the outside of parks, or right in front of businesses. It's the best and joining them is my favorite. 
10-For the Chinese who can speak English, their favorite words are "maybe" and "take a rest." Anytime I ask a Chinese person a question they always respond with "maybe you can do this" or "maybe you can do that." Also, between every one of my classes all the teachers will say "go take a rest now." Those phrases crack me up every time. 

11-Squatters. Oh Squatters. This is a picture of what squatters look like. This one would actually be considered pretty clean. You don't ever flush your TP, you always put it in the wastebasket next to it, and you always bring your own TP or you are SOL (pun intended). But I'm about to get personal with this one, so if you are grossed out easy, move on to the next point. But I have had quite the "adventure" with squatters. Between learning a month after arriving to China that I had been facing the wrong way,  to having urine bounce of the squatter and hit me in the face (yes, the FACE), to getting my hair dipped in urine, and to having...well...bad aim, it's safe to say that I have gained the reputation in my city for best squatter stories. I have threatened to write a book about rating the toilets in China from 5 star to negative 5.  Still waiting to see the 5 star toilet accommodations. I think it has potential to be a best seller. I don't know if it's something to be proud of, but it's sure something! On a positive note I have  since learned to take 2nd position, then my best plie'. It is very good leg strengthening practice and has enhanced my ballet skills tremendously.
12-Speaking of bodily functions, children here don't have diapers. Instead all of their pants have a slit down the backside and they just squat wherever and do their thing. But really, anywhere. I've seen on a metro, off a curb, and over a garbage. 

13- Even though these people do some things that I can't stand at times or I find just straight up weird, they  have shown me more genuine kindness than I have ever before witnessed. I love the people of China and even though my time here is running out, I have learned to love this culture, quirks and all. 

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